HUMAYO KA

My childhood memories included moments when I dreamed I were  a nun!  I would cover my entire body with a white blanket, with only my big eyes peeping thru a curtain-like trimming around my thin face.  And then with my hands packed inside the blanket-turned-robe, I would slowly and reverently walk, only to be mocked and shouted at  by my irritated mom with her hostile remarks:  “Santa Rosa, don’t try too hard!  Take that off!  You would just be a big disgrace to the vocation!  Are you crazy?  What a nerve to even think of becoming a nun?  What have you eaten up lately?”  Those notorious ugly truths would instantly wake me up!   I would forget about it till I would  hear my playmates shout “negra” again in our never-ending quarrels.  I knew mom was perfectly right.  How could I be a religious figure when I could never be silenced in one corner.  I loved to run and run just like Forest Gump.  I would play and play  till there’s no more game to play.  I did enjoy quarrels and would only stop till I get even.  And she was right!  There was not  a trace of becoming a nun in me.   I just wanted only to cover my dark skin to get away with the “negra” brand tossed on me then.   See how  I would find solution to cover a disgrace?   Yet the funny thing here is that my brand name even became a famous jingle when my classmates started singing “puputi si Aki, kahit hindi ikula”.  And I could not escape anymore.   Had glutathione been discovered then, maybe I would have taken double dosages for faster results.  

Reflecting on this now, I would see how big an insult I hurled at our Maker,  questioning the distinct features of His great masterpiece.  And it was a real big turnaround for me to accept and believe I was special, uniquely chiseled and painted by a perfect artist.   So I ended my wish to be a nun and just became obsessed with becoming a doctor!    Reasons?  I liked the uniform!  Ha ha ha!  And I liked the title too!  But I became a CPA.  Why and how is a long story! 

 God’s love saw me through all these years  even with my changing moods and ambitions.  He understood and comforted me with all my doubts and fears, pains and discouragements, failures and imperfections. He chastised me yet He forgave and got stuck on me.   Until now, He continues to  watch carefully my every step.  That is how good my Good Shepherd is as He leads me to the right path, back to His original plan, even before I knew Him!  EVEN WHEN I WAS YET IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB.

Alam mo bang pinili na kita

Kahit na ang mundo ay di mo pa nakikita

Alam mo bang pangarap ko sa ‘yo ay kay ganda

Kahit noong Ako’y di mo kilala pa.

Ngayong alam mo nang kaibigan mo Ako

At kailanma’y di lalayo sa piling mo

Matatakot ka pa ba…o kaya’y mangangamba

Ngayong alam mo nang di ka na mag-iisa.

Humayo ka, ipakilala mo Ako

Humayo ka, ibahagi ang pag-ibig Ko

Gawin mo na ngayon habang may panahon

Humayo ka!  Ako ay lagi mong kasama.